Monday, November 1, 2010

I realize that like many other people in this godforsaken world, I too enjoy the chase more than the prize. Atleast with the chase there is progression and change. With victory... there is stillness.

It hard to subdue the feeling of discomfort when you begin to outgrow your conquest. When holding on become harder than the achievement itself. The constant question we keep asking ourselves "now what?"... like a blunt knife cutting through the skin...relentless.

Over the last couple of months, I've come to explore parts of myself which I had assumed to be secure, only to discover their immaturity. Learning is the progression of gain and loss.

As we Gain, we ask ourselves "what next?".
As we lose, we ask ourselves "What now?".

Over the course of the next few months, life will change as I know it. Not that it never did before, but this time it's going to be differnt. This time there will be struggle like never before... Victory like never before.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


When the thunder came crashing in,
Oh when the thunder came crashing in
Crashing in... Oh crashing in,
Crushing and screeching
Scattering and shattering,
When the thunder came crashing
Crashing in...
Oh crashing in...
Tumbling and crumbling...
Moving and stumbling...
Shaking and rattling...
Slipping and crashing...

When the thunder came crashing...
Oh when the thunder came crashing in...
Crashing in...
Crashing in...
Oh crashing in...
In the silence I sat.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Where art thou?

Hide and seek is all you played
When the gray clouds roamed my midnight sky
There was lightning all around
But you were no where in sight
Why the absence?
Why the games?
I heard your whisper from far away
As i felt you all around
The lightning pale without you
And the storm incomplete
Like a song without its words.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Cloud dust

We are nothing but dust fallen from the skies
Where the rain dances and the thunder sings
In the vicinity of dark clouds
Where there is no love and no hate
Just the wind blowing aimlessly
As the lightning leads the procession
In the darkest of our nights
We sit and listen to them dancing above
To music we've heard since the beginning
Playing till forever

We are nothing but dust
Falling to the rhythm
Of an unsung song.

Songs of Thunder - I

I don't know
What to make of these songs
That you sing in the dark
Loud noises and words
I don't understand
A language unheard of before
Or heard but never understood
Tell me at least
For who are these songs for
You sing and sing
Without any meaning

I don't know
What to make of your songs of thunder
But when you sing...
Everything listens.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Love Nights

Some nights are long
Drowned in the darkness and the rain
Nothing but the sound of water hitting the tin roof
Or thunder singing to the clouds
Even though the world comes to a standstill
The water moves through the streets quietly
You gaze out the window with the lights turned off
Naked in the sheets with your lover
Wishing the night never ends.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Only if you could see yourself through my eyes would you see colors which you never thought existed. I wonder if the diamond knows how it sparkles in the sunlight.

Now that I look back, I realize how wrong I was to have judged you upon what I saw... or on what I did not see. But what could have I done... you only shone ever so dim... and said that the flame inside only burnt this bright. How was I to know that it would take the darkest black of the coldest night to turn flame into a fire.

I don't know whether to hate you for hiding or love you for revealing.

Alas, what can i do if the flower chooses to bloom when its dark.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Cloudy days

Lying beneath what seems to be the sky
Watching our thought turn into clouds
Twenty some years gone
Nothing more to show than our words
What to make of these things we call our own
The people that came and have gone
Growing old and frail
Gathered a little wisdom for smiles
We have come so far from home
Drifting like the clouds on a rainy day
The rain will fall to the ground
Someday we will understand
Someday we will disappear
And maybe the sun will shine then.


Gone are the days when we were free
Tonight we are hopeless slaves to our desires and fears
When the world was sleeping away
We were singing in the darkness
Wishing it would all come to an end
One day, we would be free again

Don't be angry for loving
It's what makes us who we are
Even if its the end of the world
When the dreams come crashing down
We hold on to threads of hope
One day, we would float away

Don't forget what we have done
All of it stands before us today
The streets are empty but you can still hear
Sounds of hope and love echoing
The things we despise, but still believe
One day, we would believe again.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I wandered across the seas
Oh I wandered across these seas
As the water opened up and
swallowed me beneath
Oh I still wandered across the seas
For all the things that I had seen

The sun dropped far below
In the waters as they glowed
I still wandered in the dark
Circled by the sharks
As the water went from still
To the raging storms within
I still wandered across the seas
For all the things that I had seen

In the moments of my end
I touched the waves with my hand
And felt the ocean below
where forever i shall flow
Into the current beneath the
Surface of this beast
After my last breath
Had bid me adieu
I wandered in this sea
As it became a part of me
I still wandered across this sea
For there was so much left to see.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Runway Girl

You've got the blush baby
I've got the brush
Take off the dress and change the voice
Screw the heels
No one cares if you smell nice
Drop the face and leave the smile
No one cares if you're alive
When the money goes bang! bang! bang!

Walking down the middle of the highway
She is the new world girl
Looking like a Japanese doll
Too young to die
Too old to fade away
A 'one hit' wonder
She's got nothing more to give
Runway girl, baby's gotta live

I'm not gonna show you the way
I'm not gonna tell you what to do
You can kick the bucket or
Beat it all out and leave it
Take a match and burn it all down
Then dance around the fire till dawn
Runway girl, your 18 baby
What more could you want?

Runaway Boys

Absolve me
Come on baby, drench me and cleanse me
I don't really care no more
If the fire burns or if it just glows
Something's gonna give

Got my bags packed
I'm all set to go
Come on baby, lets go hunting for gold
It don't really matter
Who's listening, who's not

I've got a fire in my belly
Can't you see the glow
Feel the sparks
Something's building up baby
This shit's ready to blow

I've gotta run
Gonna burn some air as I go
Can't hold us back now
Come on baby, drench me and cleanse me
Come one baby, absolve me
I've got so far to go...


To lay your hand upon the chest that breathes its last
Like a drop of rain upon barren lands
Feel the world disappear to be forever gone
As something gives away beneath the sands

We come to the sea with the setting sun
Its here that the world comes to a stand still
As all the memories sleep peacefully in the dark
As the sand shifts beneath our feet with the waves

Place your hand in the waves and feel the touch
Of a being not held back by love
What have we become to this world that we cannot see
All the life in a single grain of sand

Sunday, April 25, 2010


Oh freedom, what did you do?
Took my love and turned it blind
The best that i could do
Was run after you
Oh freedom, what have you done?
One moment it was here
The next it was gone
Gone somewhere but here
Oh freedom, what will you do?
For the one that is gone
With the wind
Leaving me alone.

Oh freedom, we are but pieces
Of a chessboard
What will a knight do without his king
A king without his queen?


We ran... we ran hand in hand
In the pouring rain
As the drops came thundering down
We knew what we had found
A moment of peace
A fleeting instance of serenity
In a kiss
In a touch
In a breath of our own
In the eyes of a lover
With the feeling of freedom
We ran...

Friday, April 16, 2010

My child, let sit and talk for a while
About the dreams that you have
Some that you've lived and the others that you killed
In the face of this dream called life

When it's time to sleep place your head upon my hand
And tell me of the dreams you want to have
As I watch the sandman come to you
I sit wonder and what it is to dream.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Edge of the world

As I sat and wondered with no place to hide
You took my hand and said
"Let us run to the end"
How foolish of us to be there
Running with the wind
As we fell off over the edge of the world
Falling and tumbling down into space
Towards the sun...
... whistling.


You are, everything I wanted
The stars, hanging in the sky
As the water came tumbling down
Over the mountain side
And I stood beneath the waves
Oh why...
I stood wishing you were here

You saw, all my pieces broken
In this darkness I could never
Put them back into place
Pieces scattered all over
I asked you the reasons
Oh why...
Some of the things I can never replace

All I've ever known
Could never shine
As brightly as you had shone
On the summer night
When you told me I was wrong
Oh why...
Could never return the moments gone.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Moonless night

I was sleeping and dreaming of the moon
It was dark, but I was with you
You looked up and reached out to the sky
With you fingers stretched out
Held the glistening moon in your hand
Looked at me and said "Its just a rock"

All the beauty of the world
Came tumbling down with the stars
The moon came crashing down in our laps
We sat there and watched the sky go dark
"Its just a rock" you had said
"A rock... with lots of scars"

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Rivers deep with memories flow through the air
These waters are so dangerous for us
White light shimmers into my eyes
As time ebbs and flows
The decisions we come to make
Will never let us be the same again

We wonder why some things matter more than others
But these are just rain drops
Not some holy water
But to me, its all the same.


You wonder why I am so consumed. Look at my face and you will see what's the cause of this disorder. By the shore line I walk on full moon nights making patterns in the sand which even I don't recognize. They resemble the memories I made with you. Some from you and some from my dreams. One day, I will tell you what they all meant.

Remember what we are when the tide is high. Little pebbles in the sand. One day... the waves will come and wash us all away.

Monday, April 5, 2010

I realized I don't have labels for my posts. Maybe because most of the time I don't really know what I am writing about. Not everything is related... some things just are.

Leave my world like falling snow
White and cold
Each snow flake different from the rest
Give me some crayons
And watch my world grow

Run through the Jungle

I was running through the jungle and i fell
Oh baby...i fell and fell and never got up
Lay there amongst the autumn leaves
Looked up and saw the birds of prey
I was running to something baby
I was running to get away
That's when i fell... fell and never got up.

Ran past the mountains and over the seas
Through the trees and over the hills
I ran from the glory baby, i ran from the thrills
I ran right through hell, fire on my heels
Even the fucking devil couldn't get a hold of me
Took a moment to Look up at heaven and baby that's when I fell
That's when i fell... fell and never got up.

They came looking for me but i wasn't going back
They thought they could take me
Told them to fuck off and never come back
I ran from the city baby, I ran from the cage
I ran right back from where i came
That's when i fell baby... that's when i fell
That's when i fell... fell and never got up

Silence of dreams

Free like the thoughts inside my mind
We floated away beneath the stars
Watching the clouds above the sea
Wondering... wondering what they dream

Still as the air inside my heart
We stood tall beneath the stars
Watching the mountains amongst the clouds
Wondering... wondering what they dream

Shimmering like the light inside my eyes
We danced away in the dark
Watching the candles in the wind
Wondering... wondering what they dream

Oh I feel... I feel so free
This life, it will never get a hold of me
The song in my mind echoes
Shattering the silence of my dreams
Oh take me away... just take me away
I've got so much to see
So much to much to dream.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


I feel the ocean inside of your heart
It tears me apart
I would swim across if I could
But could never be a part of

There is a panic inside of my heart
And it tears me apart
Like the drop of rain I long to touch
The bare earth

Oh please just let me go
Break the dam and let me flow
Give me freedom and set me free
Like the river searching for the sea
I will flow to you

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Come on down and see the show
The monkey's in the cage and the ass on the floor
Its a circus my friend, can't you tell
Look around and see
Doesn't it all ring a bell

Take a dime or two and throw it in
Your money is all that matters here
Not how you got it or your sins
Take a seat and watch the flames rise
Watch them dance
Man and beast alike

When the show has ended tonight
Pick up your belongings and walk away
The beasts will return to their cage and fall asleep
The thrills that you stole are yours to keep
Leave the animals to be, leave it behind
And like the animal you are
Walk out into the circus called Life

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

CHange of address

Life has a new apartment. The address is.. doesn't mean you stop visiting here!

Sunday, January 31, 2010


The basic desire to be different... to not fade into the crowd amongst the blacks and whites. When I look around... I see stereotypical roles... decisions by rule... one step in front of the other, each leading to a predefined action... each one behaving just like the rest. Like dead willow trees in autumn.

The very core of my being screams "Ignore it... deny it... break it. Be different even if you are proven to be wrong so that you may not look back at these years and regret not taking a chance. So that your feeble old legs don't regret running... your dry tongue doesn't regret kissing... your cold hands do not regret touching. Don't be afraid of pain or love... they are like the seasons...they will come and go and leave nothing but scars and memories. Your freedom does not come from chains... but from bonds and thoughts. Why be what the world 'wants' you to be when you could be what you 'want' yourself to be."

Its time and its eternal silence that ask me the same question again and again... "why... why be different? Why not just do what they all do... after are one of them."

To be remembered and not forgotten
I will not be lost in the crowd
Not like a dead rose within the pages
It's not what I chose for myself
In this city of stone and dirt
The only thing that's real is my blood
And maybe you will someday see
Nothing was real...
Except You and Me.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Poet's love

Beleaguered fools shall forever curse the rains, while the mystic poet sits beneath the Banyan tree and writes about the dark clouds above. No flute will ever play the tune to which his heart dances... and no songbird will ever be able to sing the song to which his soul moves. Its not the rains washing every inch of his flesh that cleanse him... its his breath that takes away all that hinders his being.

Oh poet of the moonless autumn night
Write to me words of love and wisdom
For once lost in woods so dark
I cannot see my home or the path
This falling rain reminds me of you
Sitting beneath a tree of gold
Playing the flute to the dancing wind
Watching the world slowly grow old

If night be the blanket beneath which I may sleep
Then remember me for the words I yearn to speak
A word for you and your beautiful soul
A word for the thundering of your heart

Oh mystic poet, be forever free
Like the stars in the night sky
Forever free...

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sometimes I float amongst clouds
Sometimes I fall with the rain
On autumn nights, the wind takes me along
On winter dawns, I descend with the fog

It's not the world around me
But the place within my head
Changing with the seasons
I'm changing till the end

And now that the silence
Has come to me again
I carry on... I carry on..

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Blue skies forever shall remain blue
But the monsoon rains color my world gray
Oh how different it felt to be alive
Alive within the winter fog again
Time has passed since we felt the clouds
But the taste lingers on my tongue till today
Soft steps on the cold morning dew
Will never be the same again
Like children who grew up too fast
The laughter slowly faded away

And now that night has come to me
Let us say goodbye...
Now that the clouds have passed me by
Let us say goodbye...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Thoughts without Titles

I would say to the world
"Let us be..."
For she has chosen me
With all that she sees in me
If ever there was a woman
Who knew how to love
It would be her
Past the fool and into the soul
Her love reached where no one goes

When my time is complete
When every word in me
Speaks of her and her love for me
I will turn to her
And love her for an eternity
If only the world would just
Let us be.

Still as Trees

Oh my dear one, its not the end of the world
The water still flows, the sky is still above
The moon hangs low in the summer sky
With wolves singing, gathered around

We stand above and beyond
Watching as the world floats on by
Feeling the wind and the rain on these leafy fingertips
We know what it means to be alive
Still for eternity, but still alive

Thursday, January 7, 2010


A song about realization...reflection... and preservation. A very honest song in all its meaning.

"Hurt" is a song written by Trent Reznor, first released on Nine Inch Nails' 1994 album The Downward Spiral. In 2002, "Hurt" was covered by Johnny Cash to critical acclaim. He covered it soon after his wife died... it was one of Cash's final hit releases before his own death. Its accompanying video, featuring images from Cash's life and directed by Mark Romanek, was named the best video of the year by the Grammy Awards and Country Music Awards.

"Hurt" covered by Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way