Friday, October 23, 2009

It is hard to overlook the difference between what could have been and what it actually is. It's even harder to ignore what will be for it differs from what you want it to be. As I sat there in the darkness of this moving train, I felt a little knot in my stomach... like I was falling... free falling. Even I knew why it was there, I still tried to drown it out with the sound of the train shifting tracks. It reminded me of thunder. The air rushing through the gap in the window was cold and bitter. It brought with it the coldness of the outside world hidden in the darkness of the night. I watched as people around me slept peacefully and dreamed of a world unlike mine... the feeling of being awake while they were all sleep... its was empowering. I took refuge in my little corner and focused on the feeling in my stomach... and smiled.

I knew that the one who gave it to me... had one too.


A time comes in every mans life when fate decides to put his being to the test. Of all there is that we may call moral or immoral... truth or untruth... right and wrong... Nothing remains undivided.

Man is not a creature of reason, but an animal of desire. He is fueled by a flame burning not his own, but the being of the ones around him as well. A resolve blurred by instinct shall never suffice in attaining peace... for it is not to be attained, but to be felt.

Man will drift forever through the sands of lust, driven by the mirage of love. Only the one who understands what love truly means will see past the illusion... if love itself is not the illusion. The rest will continue on... reaching out... but never reaching.

After all the rituals of life have extinguished their fires, man shall then stand facing himself. When fate comes asking, the essence of man shall be reduced to his strength to hold on to the ones he desires and to release the ones he loves.