Thursday, December 11, 2008

What came first...Love or Sex?

I thought i had "love" planned out pretty nicely...."don't use the "L" word with anyone"! ...so far so good! "Love" and "Hate" are two words i don't use so carelessly...they have a bigger meaning than people generally assume. But I won't say i am a "love-less" person...I love my freedom...i love my parents and siblings....i would love my dog...if i had one...and that's about as far as i get before i start to hesitate and change the topic. But i will not hesitate even once in saying that i have no idea about the boundaries of love. what is love...how far would i go in love...what is wrong and right in love...blah blah blah! Love for me is very simple...straight forward...very platonic. I keep my heart under control...but that doesn't mean i ain't romantic. I'm romantic...in my own weird way". Some may call it cheesy...some may call it cute...others may call it old fashioned! I don't give much of a fuck...its my opinion...mine and mine alone!

I thought i had some things figured out...like you love your partner...and you stay true to them....which basically means....be monogamous. you know...the "perfect couple". I'm very much Gandhian in my thoughts...ever since i read so much into Gandhi and realized how much our way of life and thoughts matched! But as my friend would say..."you are an idealist".....This i thought before the concept of "swinging couples and open relationships" became more abundant in the papers....in the media...in the air...in my head. A concept very deeply read by testosterone run men who fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at time. Everyone wants to be Akshay Kumar from Garam Masala...shuffling so many women...but even better if all your women know...and they agree. Like Anil Kapoor in Gharwaali-Baharwaali. I always failed to understand how one could go ahead with such a practice of multiple partners....till a friend of mine asked me a question..."...do you love your partner any less if you sleep with someone else?"...to which i blurted "DUH!!"....a question which, however lingered in the back of my head of quite some time...

Where do the boundaries of love lie?...is sex the same as love...or is sex just a subset of love....or is love a subset of sex?....the questions from the mind of a 21 year old virgin. Don't worry...I'm not the desperate kind just itching to throw it away....patience is what i have...in abundance. I have no idea whatsoever about the "love and sex" dilemma... though i wonder if its my lack of sex or my lack of love that hinders my thinking. I sometimes feel that I'm putting my opinion forward without having any experience...but then again...isn't that what having an "opinion" is all about! I don't know about swinging couples...but as far as having multiple sex partners goes once you are committed or in a relationship...is just downright wrong! For me cheating...is like lying...and I....HATE...LAIRS! Someone who lies just for sense gratification...to have sex...to "enjoy life" is a weak and pathetic soul. If the momentary "Crave" for the acquaintance in front of your eyes is stronger than your "Love" for the one whom you decided to give an important place in your life.... then you are one sad soul! If you are a person of conscience....then how do you overcome this dilemma...have the cake and eat it too?

1. Don't make anyone the love of your life. Enjoy unhindered sex with whoever you want...without the slightest sense of guilt. ...at the cost of knowing what Love is! Shakespeare would want to assassinate you (i have a feeling I'm gonna be argued on for this reference to Shakespeare!)...OR...
2. Live...Life...with Love. After all...you will be having sex...so no loss here....unless you believe that having lots of sex with lots of people is fun!...which most people do...

So...what to do?....what to do??

I don't expect a simple answer....i doubt there even is one. I guess this topic is all about opinions...beliefs...and the individual. Right now...my opinion is pretty straight forward...."don't cheat...don't sleep around (not like that's happening a lot!)".....but i guess this is one of those things where your thinking changes with experience. You know...like the way you thought about alcohol...until you had your first shot of vodka...and you said to yourself..."hey..this isn't all that bad! I'm not drunk..I'm not addicted! why do people make such a big fuss"....and then u have a couple of more shots...and then you are passed out after puking on the guy/gal you were trying to impress....but then tats a different story altogether. Or maybe its like your first drag of cigarettes or weed.....unless you ended up a chain smoker....or in jail for possession! .....again...an exceptional case!

What i guess I'm trying to say is....some things change...some opinions dissolve and decay...get replaced by new ones as you move down the road of life. The way you think...your judgment of "wrong and right" evolves. As we gather knowledge, we become wiser...some become dumber...but lets not get into details. Hopefully as i grow, i will able to see the difference between Love and Sex. Hopefully i will be able to draw the line in the right place...between an insatiable physical desire and the aphrodisiac of the masses. Love and Sex may become a lot simpler once i fall in love...or get married....or lose my virginity.......not necessarily in the same order! Hopefully some questions will be answered at different stages of life....but i wonder if i want them to be answered! Will i be willing to leave my comfort zone? Will i be able to comprehend and accept what i discover?...Will my curiosity get my cat killed? Now you see why i don't like using the "L" word....but atleast...i don't plan to say "i love you" when all i am thinking is "i wanna have sex with you"! For me atleast...Love and Sex are NOT INTERCHANGEABLE!

1 comment:

prerna said...

wow !!
such insightful thots !
tok abt two-timing ne1 ..
is it for sex or is it tht u fall in love wid two ppl at the same tym ..
infidelity is a sad idea !!!