It is hard to overlook the difference between what could have been and what it actually is. It's even harder to ignore what will be for it differs from what you want it to be. As I sat there in the darkness of this moving train, I felt a little knot in my stomach... like I was falling... free falling. Even I knew why it was there, I still tried to drown it out with the sound of the train shifting tracks. It reminded me of thunder. The air rushing through the gap in the window was cold and bitter. It brought with it the coldness of the outside world hidden in the darkness of the night. I watched as people around me slept peacefully and dreamed of a world unlike mine... the feeling of being awake while they were all sleep... its was empowering. I took refuge in my little corner and focused on the feeling in my stomach... and smiled.

I knew that the one who gave it to me... had one too.